On Campus Lured by a Pikachu, CC Rising Senior Travels Below 110th Street for First Time by Anonymous July 12, 2016November 6, 2021 She kept the MetroCard as a souvenir.…
World Bernie Sanders Receives Consolation Fruit Basket by Hailey Riechelson July 10, 2016November 6, 2021 "I will not stop fighting until honeydew achieves equality in this country."…
World Meteorologists: Night Sky Will Be Star-Spangled For Independence Day by Dylan Sachs July 4, 2016November 6, 2021 A heartwarming tribute.…
World Obama Pardons Annual 4th of July Hot Dog by Thomas Germain July 4, 2016November 6, 2021 The lucky hot dog will live out the rest of his shelf life in a refrigerator on a farm in rural Connecticut.…
World Brexit Victory Celebrated Throughout Victorian England by Alastair Pearson June 24, 2016November 6, 2021 The nineteenth century beckons as Europe marches boldly into the future.…
On Campus Summer Offers Exciting New Forms of Failure for Subpar Students by Andre Adams June 24, 2016November 6, 2021 "Finally, I have the chance to tank a discussion that isn't part of CC with my banal, rambling comments."…
On Campus The Fall of an Ivy League Student: North of 125th Street by Seth Farkas June 21, 2016November 6, 2021 Farewell, friends.…
World Jesus Not Quite Sure What to Buy For Father’s Day by Anonymous June 19, 2016November 6, 2021 "I feel like Dad already has everything."…
On Campus Maggie the Magnolia Not Dead, Just Menopausal by Iqraz Nanji June 17, 2016November 11, 2021 Panic struck the Barnard campus this week when Maggie the Magnolia did not bloom on schedule.…
World Donald Trump Proposes Ban on Alligators by McKenzie Fritz June 17, 2016November 11, 2021 "They are dangerous, foreign, radical killers."…
World With Whopping 5% of U.S. Population’s Vote, Clinton Becomes Democratic Nominee by Andre Adams June 15, 2016November 11, 2021 Incredible: Clinton earned the votes of a group as large as the season finale audience of The Walking Dead.…
World New Gun Owners Required to Pinky Swear They Won’t Kill Anyone by Ben Greenspan June 14, 2016November 11, 2021 Congressional Republicans are fighting a last-minute amendment requiring gun owners to also "cross their hearts."…
