Obama Pardons Annual 4th of July Hot Dog


WHITE HOUSE ROSE GARDEN – In a press conference late Monday morning, a jovial President Obama announced his choice for this year’s hot dog pardoning. The hot dog, Frank, is a kosher 6.5’’ Hebrew National, selected personally by the President to be spared from the grill.

“Frank is a beautiful dog,” said Obama. “He’s all beef, and I’m not going to pretend I don’t want to slap some mustard on that bad boy right now. Mmm-Mmm. But the 4th of July is about freedom, and there’s no reason we shouldn’t extend that uniquely American value to our friends in the meat aisle.”

The lucky hot dog will live out the rest of his shelf life in a refrigerator on a farm in rural Connecticut.