“Welcome to campus!” they say with a smile, taking off your coat as they roll out the red carpet. One member of the committee brings you a hot cup of coffee while…
In a move intended to provide jobs to those most in need, mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani has announced that he will be hiring Republican nominee Curtis Sliwa as the city’s Crazy Uncle, and…
With the holiday season quickly approaching, students and faculty alike are all getting ready to take a step back from work or school in order to have time with our loved ones…
On election night, New Yorkers rejoiced in the victory of Democratic candidate Zohran Mamdani as the city’s next mayor-elect. After the terror of Andrew Cuomo’s gubernatorial reign and former mayor Eric Adams’…
Following his unprecedented loss in the New York City mayoral election, Republican nominee and local icon Curtis Sliwa has announced his next venture: serving as a nude model for Columbia University art…
In the wake of myriad changes to the government and general functioning of the nation made by the Trump Administration, President Donald Trump has announced a modification to the fifty-star American flag,…
After rows of College Walk trees were torn down last semester, the fate of Columbia’s annual tree-lighting ceremony has been uncertain. That is, until Interim President Shipman announced a new tradition to…
In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has been spotted at a Washington, D.C. chapter of Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA). This came as a surprise to most, as…
Watch out, New York! Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani has just been elected mayor in a landmark campaign for the Democratic Party. New Yorkers all around the city raise a glass tonight to…
Following an agreement with Daddy Donald to carry out a comprehensive evaluation of their admissions practices, Columbia has finally released the results of their audit. Findings include a 39% international student enrollment…
