I’ve heard a lot of roommate horror stories over the years, but this isn’t one of them. My roommate is nice, quiet, respectful of my personal space, and he keeps the dorm…
According to a leaked press release, it appears that Columbia is finally following suit in the time honored New York trend of shortening names. Starting in Fall 2023, Columbia University will be…
Dear Fed, I think I might be in love with the Thinker. Hear me out. I was walking out of my Metaphysical Erotics in Aristotelean Constructs class one day when I was…
After her recent appointment to Columbia, President Shafik was quick to announce her first campaign: Make Columbia British Again. After immediately renaming the school King’s College, of course, here are her proposed…
We here at the Federalist are proud to announce that we are for boats. If our readers have had one complaint about our work over the years, it is that we haven’t…
Dear Spotify Wrapped, Look, we all have our phases. Sure, it’s a bit embarrassing to show your friends that Charlie Puth is your top artist when you’re supposed to be all cool…
