Following up on their announcement that the Class of 2029 is the largest enrolled class in Columbia history, Columbia Admissions released a new report today revealing the university is actually still in…
Last week, Columbia was struck by a university-wide cyberattack, rendering most online IT services unavailable and leaking at least 1.8 million Social Security numbers belonging to students, faculty, and staff. Columbia has…
Moments after conceding the New York City Primary Election to underdog Zohran Mamdani, Andrew Cuomo announced his new role as Columbia University President. This leadership change marks an end to three years…
As part of a yearly tradition, the university has released a demographic poll of the newly-committed class of 2029. Most notably, the survey reported that a whopping 100 percent of incoming students…
President Trump signed an executive order earlier this month which proclaimed the water pressure of shower heads to be “too damn soft,” something which he demands must change. While we at The…
“Hey little bud! Let’s move away from there haha… no eggs in the car, buddy! Here, let’s play hot-and-cold – you’re freezing cold! Let’s go back to Mommy, maybe there are some…
Each year of my life, I’ve looked forward to the beginning of April like a kid looks forward to presents on Christmas Day. And no, it’s not because of the idiotic, childish…
Due to Barnard’s recently publicized debt troubles, administrators have been searching for any easy cost-cutting measures to take to potentially ease the financial burden facing the school. This week, Barnard administrators finally…
BREAKING—According to a new email from CUIT, Columbia Housing’s internal electronic database experienced a complete blackout late last night. “Our technicians are working around the clock to try to restore this system,”…
At a time of peak winter-weather cuddles, Punxsutawney Phyllis has kicked husband Phil to the couch due to the recent warm, specifically spring, weather. TMZ reports that Phil has been “out of…
