The Department of Public Safety was informed that on Friday, December 5th, 2025, at approximately 11:30 p.m., a suspicious person was identified at 2940 Broadway Hall. The individual is male presenting and…
Following their mandated reading of the Sparknotes for Homer’s Iliad in their LitHum classes, several freshmen have found some modern thematic resonance that was most certainly not on the administration’s approved thought…
Columbia University Facilities and Operations has announced that Uris Pool will be temporarily converted into an indoor skating rink for the holiday season. “Over the summer and throughout the semester, we kept…
Continuing their multi-year saga of controversial decisions, Columbia’s administration has recently announced that their famed merch store will, shockingly, continue to sell books. The store, which sprawls below the basement of Lerner…
Carlton Arms Dormitory has been seeing a recent spike in false-alarm activation of the Fire Safety System due to what a Columbia Housing representative called a “better-safe-than-sorry” approach to triggering the alarm. …
Following the first snowfall of the semester, Barnard students have called a petition for the removal of an alleged snowman under the pretense of it being “too heteronormative.” Our sources show the…
After dismounting from their camels and waiting in a gaggle of Barnard students, the three wise men finally reached the East Campus front desk. Fortunately, Joey, an EC resident, agreed to sign…
As of this morning, Columbia Safety has warned students about ICE on Columbia’s Morningside Campus. Students are advised to avoid their biting tactics such as tricking students in poorly lit places about…
As a child, I interpreted the novel From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler as my Bible and studied the Night at the Museum movie as if they were my…
In a new report coming out from the Columbia Economics Department, Professor Monet Talks demonstrates that the Lerner revolving door on 115th Street is a site of the prisoner’s dilemma, a cornerstone…
