In a bold display of transparency, Columbia University announced that next year’s tuition hike will go directly toward producing more high-quality emails informing students about said tuition hike. The announcement came in…
A study conducted by Columbia’s Economics department found that few students wear assless chaps to class, despite their comfort, style, and inexpensive price. The authors, who hoped to better understand sartorial trends…
The first hint was the stroller outside my dorm. But the chaos really began when my parents saw the crib next to my bed. “I’m nesting,” I explained to them, as they…
Many Columbia graduates find themselves pursuing professions in the startup space after graduation. One intrepid student “stumbled upon” what he described as a “mind-blowing” opportunity when he was offered a position at…
Transmission loading… Hello, person receiving this. The year is 2094. The Earth’s second moon has disappeared behind the horizon, leaving behind a purple glow. I’m in one of the last available shelters…
A 13-year investigation at The Fed has finally concluded to confirm that a majority of finance clubs on campus secretly worship chthonic beings of old. Equipped with silver rings, holy water, and…
Due to the shocking debt accumulated last fall, and the numerous controversies surrounding the institution, Barnard College announced that they have made the difficult decision to officially shut down all operations by…
Anita Calmdown, a high achiever majoring in bio (on the pre-med track, of course) and political science (pre-law—as a back up) is paving a new career path for overworked, anxious students; in…
At the start of each school year, Columbia’s Activities Board Council (ABC) releases their allocations of university funding for recognized clubs on campus. On Wednesday, Columbia’s chapter of the Young Venture Capitalists’…
In a recent campus-wide email, Barnard Dining notified the student body that Liz’s Place has been sued by the Federal Trade Commission for consumer protection violations, including anti-competitive behavior. The lawsuit describes…
