Matilda Darragh-Ford | The Columbia Federalist

Columbia's Only Newspaper That Wears a Bikini with a Full Bush

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Matilda Darragh-Ford

On Campus/PrezBo

A List of Every Cuss We Know to See if The Federalist Will Print It

by Matilda Darragh-Ford and Mollie Schmidtberger
September 8, 2022May 20, 2024

Ass Asshole Bastard Bitch Bollocks Cock Damn Dick Fuck Hell Shit Wanker Oh shit, they really did it. They really published all those words. This is the First Amendment in action.  Love,…

On Campus

Columbia Spectator Schisms into Spec and Alt-Spec Following Mask Op-Ed Debacle

by Lauren Unterberger, Mollie Schmidtberger and Matilda Darragh-Ford
April 1, 2022March 31, 2022

In the face of the sensationalist anti-mask controversy, the Arts & Culture section of the Columbia Daily Spectator has succeeded and named themselves Alt-Spec, a newer, cooler Spec. Attempting to model their…

Advice/World

The Federalist’s Guide to Surviving No-Nut November

by Matilda Darragh-Ford and Mollie Schmidtberger
December 1, 2021May 20, 2024

Cut your dick off CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF Go to church Thanksgiving Issue, November 2021…

Opinion

Op-Ed: Tie Me up like a Parade Float and Have 40 People Hold Me Down

by Matilda Darragh-Ford and Mollie Schmidtberger
November 25, 2021May 1, 2023

Sorry Prezbo, but I’m Prezhoe. I’m 8,500 cubic feet of powerful sexual energy, a big Barnard Baddie. I’m an inflatable Snoopy balloon looking for my Red Baron. Show up at 5:00 am…

World

PETA Not Mad about Turkeys This Year

by Matilda Darragh-Ford, Lauren Unterberger and Mollie Schmidtberger
November 22, 2021December 12, 2021

After many years of advocating for animal rights, PETA has apparently “given up.” The organization posted on all of their social media accounts “Go nuts,” accompanied by a graphic of a cartoon…

Style

Hottest Group Costumes for Halloween 2021

by Matilda Darragh-Ford, Lauren Unterberger and Mollie Schmidtberger
October 31, 2021November 15, 2021

Common Allergens When you walk into the club, all eyes will be on you. And those eyes will be watery as fuck. Splash some pet dander and dust mites on a cute…

Advice/Style

List of Couples Costumes You Can Do By Yourself

by Matilda Darragh-Ford, Lauren Unterberger and Mollie Schmidtberger
October 31, 2021September 14, 2022

Fork and Spoon = Spork  Yellow and blue crayon = green crayon  Cord and socket = dongle Two halves of an Avocado = whole Avocado  Salt and pepper = Everything-but-the-Bagel seasoning  Bride…

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