"Money is tight right now; I can’t just spend willy nilly on luxuries like housing and salaries!”…
My body is being torn apart; not by hormones, but by the trauma of Andrew Yang leaving the presidential race. I'll never get my $1000 now.…
Op-Ed: If JFK Drove a Tesla Cybertruck, He Would Still Be Alive
by Amelia Fay, Nurasyl Shokeyev and Ernie Bertland
What Musk is saying is that these windows can only be broken by a small metal ball. They can endure “wrenches” and the “kitchen sink,” even the slug that vaporized JFK’s head!…
“I’m on the verge of a fucking breakdown. If I don’t get into ‘Earth, Moon, and Planets’ I might need to drop out and reconsider my entire future.”…
The Dean of Undergraduate Admissions, Jessica Marinaccio, stated to The Federalist that all of the applications were submitted to the General Studies school with the heading, “LET ME IN CUZ I FUCKING…
As of press time, the prince’s representative has clarified that going forward, His Royal Highness will “give explicit directions regarding if and how he wants any dissidents liquidized.”…
“I probably should have known something was up when I entered and didn’t even check in with a human, just a slimy iPad from 2008.”…
