"The two girls, who refer to themselves collectively as '704,' their room number, have begun the semester with conflicting class schedules."…
"Modality modality modality modality modality modality modality modality modality modality..."…
4. Kill the author of this article.…
"Frankly, between seeing you at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now this, I’m tired of your shit,” Grandma Ester tearfully remarked as she dug the ceremonial meat cleaver into her gnarled forearm.…
"Soon, sweetheart," cooed the 54-year-old professor's mother . "It'll come sooner if you fall asleep." …
"I swear, I saw him slide all the way from the top of the library steps down to the bottom right after it rained!"…
"Wont thy scuchmachine to chinwagin me, yon the babe gosling (UUUWK kweouk UUUWK kweouk?) roasts sur the cripplecrappletendercackle and we setten."…
"I personally find it to be a very spiritual journey, as I pass the same Olive Tree Deli and Columbia Barber shop my forefathers passed years ago."…
“This is Kimiko, my waifu,” said the Dean, switching tabs to a hi-res image of a scantily clad, huge-eyed vixen with gravity-defying breasts. …
In the coming months, Columbians will finally have something to fill the orange-chicken-sized hole in their hearts.…
"Coach kept telling us, ‘Guys, you’re a damn talented group, and I know you can win games. You gotta stay focused on winning! Because if you keep losing, you’re gonna know the…
"Something about those cute little faces just gets me going about how much better public torture would work out than our current broken justice system when considering the utilitarian calculus."…
