After weeks of PR chaos, Slither.io has finally come forward regarding the resurgence of some controversial tweets made by Columbia University’s Acting President, Claire Shipman. In these Tweets (the Fed refuses to…
It all started so innocently. An account requested to follow me. The bio was so simple—; an elegant, quaint “@columbia”. “Oh that’s crazy,” I thought to myself. “That’s where I go to…
After 3 years of dedicated, sub-par authorship on The Columbia Federalist, I pondered how I wanted to close out my legacy of (debatable) creative and comedic writing. Then, I got really busy…
ACCOUNT ALERT: If You Don’t Complete Your Anti-Sexual Harassment Module, We Will Come After Your Family
Alright, clearly you haven’t been taking us seriously. We told you to complete the training. We told you it was New York state law. We told you that if you didn’t do…
Every girl wants to go to space, or does she just wanna read her horoscope? Grammy award-winning, world-renowned, best-selling music artist Katy Perry is a part of the crew on Jeff Bezos’…
Trump’s anti-DEI push continues. Executive Order 11354, the latest in a series of anti-DEI measures meant to counteract a perceived liberal dominance in the federal government, officially renamed the first trans-continental railroad–also…
After the announcement that the Trump administration would be cutting $400 million in funding to Columbia University last week, President Armstrong announced that she was “deeply committed to ensuring that we find…
A new study from Reuters finds, in a shocking reversal of conventional major wisdom, all undergraduate students from Columbia University are now equally unemployable. In the wake of over $400 million in…
We don’t care. We took the money. He has a hot girlfriend and journalistic ethics have never been real. Look at yourself, you freak! You’re wearing Amazon sweatpants! You bought a watch…
Columbia University Center for Canoodling Finds Best Way to Approach Women Remains Asking if They’re a Mosquito
In a stunning report that sent rigid shockwaves through both the Barnard and Columbia campuses, the Columbia University Center for Canoodling (CUCC) unveiled its latest findings on what gets Columbia students the…