"That little mutt has been dead as a doornail for years."…
"I had no idea how much regionalist scorn I was in for when I ordered the classic BUSHDID9/11 and mozzarella panini from Hamilton Deli."…
Know the difference.…
"I am an only child—and yet, the grill is their favorite member of the family."…
"Was his Alaska cruise okay, but not as good as his Joseph Conrad-esque sailing trip down the Congo?"…
“When my friends reference the song, I just laugh and pretend like I get it."…
Gemini are in for quite a month!…
“I’ve done a lot of research and all the movies show that fat shaming is the most effective way to make those little bastards lose a few pounds.”…
"If only Trump and Muslim refugees could sit down at the negotiating table and enjoy a bowl of Pizza Twist Macaroni..."…
"I didn’t choose to want to fuck Paul Ryan. It’s just the way I am."…
