After FBI Director Kash Patel was seen in Milan partying with the US Men’s Hockey Team following their historic win at the Olympics, eagle-eyed viewers spotted another familiar face in the background…
May this year bring you happiness, prosperity, and a relentless desire to bring up shit from the past and dissect it until you go blue in the face. In this new year,…
In this economy, desperate job applicants are often forced to apply skills to areas they may not have initially expected. Skills in the humanities might be applied to work in a coffeeshop,…
Columbia’s School of International and Public Affairs has faced backlash for introducing a new seminar titled, “From Nick Cage to Kim Kardashian: Do Californians Deserve Human Rights?” The course description described the…
The Justice Department’s release of three million additional files from the Epstein investigation has sent shockwaves through the Columbia community, with the implication of several prominent professors, trustees, and “Center for Well-Being”…
“It’s just like, holy shit man, I’m tired,” sighed Punxsutawney Phil, leaning against a brick wall outside of the bar while speaking with a Fed reporter last night. Bringing a cigarette to…
Happy Holidays! This is Santa, sending out a mass dispatch to all your little munchkins — naughty and nice — around the globe. We at the North Pole get a lot of…
This week, major firms including JPMorganChase, Goldman Sachs, and Morgan Stanley have begun their full-time hiring process for university students graduating in 2046. This move should come as no surprise, as students…
Santa Claus has recently been accused by United Elf Workers, one of the North Pole’s largest labor unions, of threatening to cut the wages and benefits of elves disseminating union related material…
