Columbia’s School of International and Public Affairs has faced backlash for introducing a new seminar titled, “From Nick Cage to Kim Kardashian: Do Californians Deserve Human Rights?” The course description described the…
A recent ad posted by the University revealed that a bold new committee is being assembled to combat the relentless siege known as “winter.” Existing applicants under consideration include traditional frat bros,…
The Justice Department’s release of three million additional files from the Epstein investigation has sent shockwaves through the Columbia community, with the implication of several prominent professors, trustees, and “Center for Well-Being”…
“It’s just like, holy shit man, I’m tired,” sighed Punxsutawney Phil, leaning against a brick wall outside of the bar while speaking with a Fed reporter last night. Bringing a cigarette to…
In a recent announcement this week, the Presidential Search Committee shared that they are still unable to find a single person who actually wants to be University President. “We know this may…
Following the first snowfall of the semester, Barnard students have called a petition for the removal of an alleged snowman under the pretense of it being “too heteronormative.” Our sources show the…
In a new report coming out from the Columbia Economics Department, Professor Monet Talks demonstrates that the Lerner revolving door on 115th Street is a site of the prisoner’s dilemma, a cornerstone…
“Welcome to campus!” they say with a smile, taking off your coat as they roll out the red carpet. One member of the committee brings you a hot cup of coffee while…
In a move intended to provide jobs to those most in need, mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani has announced that he will be hiring Republican nominee Curtis Sliwa as the city’s Crazy Uncle, and…
With the holiday season quickly approaching, students and faculty alike are all getting ready to take a step back from work or school in order to have time with our loved ones…
