Barnard 600s dorms to limit toilet paper distribution due to increased suspicious mummy wrapping activity. Please be mindful of your surroundings near the toilet paper cabinet.…
DODGE HALL — This morning, President McBain Shafted announced the construction of a second gym for Columbia students to use. “We’re naming it Dodge,” she stated. “Yeah, we already have a gym…
When a crowd gathered around Low Steps on Wednesday to watch the once-in-a-decade inauguration of a new Columbia president, many were at first confused why she stood waiting in the wings. At…
Notorious misogynist and (even worse) Canadian Jordan Peterson is coming to campus and instead of telling you where or when you can find him speaking, I recommend you put that bigotry boner…
BREAKING – Jewish students at Columbia on this autumn morning to discover a new Yom Kippur rule passed by the Rabbinical Council of America. “After consulting a long lost, ancient printing of…
