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fedtator4ever2005

0x Emmy-winning writer fedtator4ever2005 was a frequent contributor to The Fed, the only publication that would publish their unfunny work. One of the only technologically competent board members, fedtator4ever2005 toiled away as Online Editor, publishing ~50 articles on this website for each issue, which received an average of 20 measly views each month. A Wattpad veteran, fedtator4ever2005 pioneered 'FedFiction,' a form of Fed-exclusive literature used to unsettle The Columbia Daily Spectator and The Sundial. On May 1, 2026, fedtator4ever2005 was found deceased with their head stuck in a microwave in Barnard's Elliot Hall (#SylviaPlathCore). fedtator4ever2005 will be conveniently forgotten by those who knew them from The Fed.

Articles/Business/On Campus

Incoming Freshman Suddenly an Expert in College Admissions Counseling

by fedtator4ever2005
July 30, 2025February 28, 2026

Hubert Brown (SEAS ’29) from Cupertino, CA, has ditched the three nonprofits he founded in high school to focus on his new college consulting company that helps high school students get admitted…

Articles/On Campus/Politics

Columbia Announces Plans to Resurrect Alexander Hamilton

by fedtator4ever2005
May 5, 2025February 28, 2026

Amid the breaking news that the Dire Wolf was resurrected by biotechnology after 10,000 years of extinction, Columbia University recently announced the Department of Genetics’s plans to resurrect their own long-dead pop…

Articles/Barnard/Breaking News

CC Student Follows Barnard on LinkedIn, Deemed Women’s College-Wide Hero

by fedtator4ever2005
May 5, 2025February 28, 2026

After nosy profile viewer and political science major Chad Major-Ally (CC ’27) followed Barnard College on LinkedIn.com, he received a hero’s welcome as he stepped through the gates of the women’s college…

Articles/Arts and Culture/Business/FedFiction

Columbia University Sells You to One Direction

by fedtator4ever2005
March 12, 2025February 22, 2026

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! At 8 AM, you wake up in your cramped Carman Hall dorm and pull your hair into a messy bun. You slip on an oversized hoodie, ripped jeans, and…

Articles/Arts and Culture/FedFiction/On Campus

“Pressed” Up: A Fed x Spec Fanfiction

by fedtator4ever2005
February 18, 2025February 22, 2026

Tags: #fedxspec #fedtator #columbiafederalist #columbiadailyspectator #enemiestolovers #slowburn #collegeau #columbiauniversity #newyorkcity #journalism “Spec!” A familiar voice belonging to Bwog called out, halting Spec on their way to the first day of class. “How…

Advice/Articles/On Campus

Dear Freshmen: That A- WILL Ruin Your Life

by fedtator4ever2005
February 14, 2025May 3, 2026

Last year, when I got my spring semester grades back, I received an A- in Calculus. “Well, an A is an A, so a win is a win,” I thought. My parents…

Articles/Barnard/Business

Heartwarming: Barnard Receives Donation of 50 Cents and Half-Eaten Hot Dog

by fedtator4ever2005
December 12, 2024February 28, 2026

With the announcement that Barnard will be $252 million in projected debt for its construction project, the college is scrambling to redistribute its funding and grow its endowment. Emails have been sent…

Articles/Breaking News/On Campus/Sports

Columbia Reveals New Nonchalant Mascot

by fedtator4ever2005
November 12, 2024May 3, 2026

In preparation for Homecoming, Columbia University’s Board of Trustees have announced their plans to retire Roar-ee and replace him with a new, very chill mascot. This decision comes after controversy over the…

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