With the announcement that Barnard will be $252 million in projected debt for its construction project, the college is scrambling to redistribute its funding and grow its endowment. Emails have been sent to students, parents, and alumni asking for donations—or perhaps a spare million or two they might happen to have sitting in their bank accounts.
Well, just in time for the holidays, Barnard College finally got what it asked for. This morning, the college’s Office of Development and Alumnae Relations received an anonymous donation: neatly packed in a 1 gallon Ziploc bag, this gift consisted of two quarters and a half-eaten Chili Bacon Cheese Dog from a Nathan’s Famous food cart.
“Well, when you think about it, a Nathan’s Chili Bacon Cheese Dog is $7.99, so half of that is pretty much $4. Add in the two quarters, and Barnard only has $251,999,995.50 of debt left to pay. We might even be able to get something for the Ziploc bag,” the head of Barnard’s finances told The Fed, before a dry tear fell from the corner of her eye.
Members of Barnard’s administration are reportedly planning to get more funding before the end of the year by sitting on Santa’s lap and asking for 5 bucks or putting “$250 mil dollaz” on their holiday wishlists.
