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Federalist Staff

Articles/On Campus

Columbia to House Overenrolled Freshmen in Tents on Butler Lawns

by Federalist Staff
September 29, 2025September 14, 2025

Columbia has long strained itself to support our increasingly large student body. Upon walking into John Jay at 7PM, it is not rare to see students stacked upon each other’s laps due…

Articles/Featured/On Campus

Presidential Search Update: Progress! Student Survey Responses Will Now Be Marked as Read Before Being Immediately Moved to Trash

by Federalist Staff
July 18, 2025July 18, 2025

This month, the Columbia administration reached out to all students via email, inviting input on the search for the university’s new president. Previously, the administration has faced criticism because of their disregard…

Barnard/On Campus/Politics

Bold, Beautiful, Entry Ban: Barnard to Prohibit Columbia Students From Entering Its Campus for 229 Years

by Federalist Staff
March 31, 2025September 17, 2025

To reinforce its mission of empowering young women, Barnard College announced that it will begin barring campus entry to Columbia students for the next 229 years beginning next Fall. This particular time…

Advice/Articles/On Campus

Dear Freshmen: That A- WILL Ruin Your Life

by Federalist Staff
February 14, 2025September 17, 2025

Last year, when I got my spring semester grades back, I received an A- in Calculus. “Well, an A is an A, so a win is a win,” I thought. My parents…

Articles/Breaking News/Business

Penn Celebrates First Cool Alum Since Noam Chomsky

by Federalist Staff
December 10, 2024September 27, 2025

Infamous for its controversial alumni including Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Dr. Oz, the University of Pennsylvania really needed a cool, likeable alumnus to rebuke their current public perception as the nation’s…

Articles/Arts and Culture/Food and Drink

Respond to These Texts and We’ll Assign You a Dining Hall Food to Fit Your Personality 

by Federalist Staff
December 9, 2024November 3, 2025

2.  “heyy could I see your answers for the french hw” 3. “What’s your uni?” 4. “Anyone want to meet up this weekend to study?” If you answered mostly A’s, you are…

Articles/Breaking News/On Campus/Sports

Columbia Reveals New Nonchalant Mascot

by Federalist Staff
November 12, 2024September 27, 2025

In preparation for Homecoming, Columbia University’s Board of Trustees have announced their plans to retire Roar-ee and replace him with a new, very chill mascot. This decision comes after controversy over the…

Articles/Barnard/New York City

80% of Barnard Transfers Didn’t Get On-Campus Housing — Here’s Where Some of Them Are Staying!

by Federalist Staff
September 30, 2024October 19, 2025

Despite promising a warm welcome for new transfer students to Barnard College’s tight-knit community, Residential Life & Housing rejected and waitlisted nearly all housing applications from transfers. By August, only 30 out…

On Campus/Opinion

Dear Columbia: Give Me a Vagina Fountain or Give Me Death

by Federalist Staff
October 10, 2023August 7, 2025

Hi Columbia. It’s me again. I know you’ve heard my very loud and very public pleas over the last three expensive years that I’ve spent at your institution. You might’ve thought I…

Opinion

Op-Ed: Tie Me up like a Parade Float and Have 40 People Hold Me Down

by Matilda Darragh-Ford and Federalist Staff
November 25, 2021August 7, 2025

Sorry Prezbo, but I’m Prezhoe. I’m 8,500 cubic feet of powerful sexual energy, a big Barnard Baddie. I’m an inflatable Snoopy balloon looking for my Red Baron. Show up at 5:00 am…

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