It’s no secret that Columbia security has a stick up their ass. If you’re a resident of New York trying to bring your baby onto campus to touch some grass, or a…
I truly can’t wait for my suite’s traditional Secret Santa. My roommates and I do it all together every year: drinking hot cocoa, playing Mariah Carey on vinyl, and exchanging presents to…
Can’t bear the lunchtime chaos? Skip the line and buy a table instead! Inspired by the hottest NYC clubs, Ferris now offers advance table reservations for you and up to five of…
In the wake of myriad changes to the government and general functioning of the nation made by the Trump Administration, President Donald Trump has announced a modification to the fifty-star American flag,…
Dining in tonight? Hey! You deaf son of a bitch! Stay behind the line!!…
Dear Mister, I hope you are having a good study session…at the expense of everyone else in this god-forsaken library. YOU, my good sir, are evidently infectious. You are also clearly in…
We know you guys care a lot about what you put inside your body. That’s why the team at Chef Mike’s is proud to announce a new feature for ordering both through…
After the Barnard Wellness Spot announced its “Claytastic! Build-A-Vagina” event this Wednesday, the male Columbia community was quick to erupt in outrage. “This is so fucking unfair,” CC sophomore Richard Johnson told…
Well. This is interesting. I got matched with my professor on Marriage Pact this year. I’m not sure what to do next. Am I supposed to email him? Does he email me?…
Epic brother Halloweekend plans were tragically disrupted for Alpha Smegma brothers this weekend. Brothers were led to believe by local news reports that there was going to be a huge amount of…
