Learn a thing or two from the Fed's wisest.…
"Usually we let the admissions process grind them up and spit them out, but we had to step in here."…
"Columbia must have been his safety school. Anyone with a dick that nice applied to Harvard early.”…
"To all the students emailing me to 'talk about the class,' just drop it. I’m not interested."…
"Approach the first hot girl you see, taking the shortest path possible—use Dijkstra’s algorithm here if necessary."…
"I know I shouldn't, but those mozzarella sticks are so damn good." …
Beware: anyone who approaches Alphadouchies will likely succumb to verbal abuse rooted in insecurities.…
“I don’t need your pity. But I do need you to buy this pan flute CD for $5.”…
“She said she had sent me a package, and I thought it was going to be some flip-flops or a swimsuit or some shit like that."…
"I’m starting to miss the familiar, raw sting of alcohol funneling into my rectum."…
