The first hint was the stroller outside my dorm. But the chaos really began when my parents saw the crib next to my bed. “I’m nesting,” I explained to them, as they…
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH,” yelled one extraordinarily elated, wool-sock wearing student from Low steps when first catching a glimpse of the newest addition to Columbia’s campus. “I LOVE THIS SCHOOOOLLL,” remarks a laughing and skipping…
Me want banana! So me papoy bo-ka la banana from John Jay. “Tulaliloo ti amo!” papoy me say to le worker at John Jay. Mais po-ka? La banana was green? Blumock! Nononono,…
Last week, I found myself at the end of my rope. The excitement of my newly-finalized PoliSci minor was dampened by my inability to answer a cold call from former University President…
In honor of the first anniversary of Barnard’s LeFreak Center, the wellness center will be offering new complimentary perks for students on the 145 Flex meal plan and above. Qualifying students can…
Do you find yourself alone in your freshman dorm on Friday nights? Do you wish you had that textbook group of friends to play hacky sack with on the lawns? If you…
Dear Class of 2029, Congratulations on Your Admittance to the Most Brutalized Ivy League Student Body! While we looked at almost one hundred applications from all over the world [i.e, from one…
We all have our insecurities. Believe it or not, even the President of the United States does. Reportedly, Temu delivery driver Kyle Scott, delivered a large shipment of jade green gua sha…
In an unexpected change of plans, this year’s Columbia Commencement Speaker, previously announced as author Jodi Kantor (CC ‘96), will be replaced by Tilikum the Orca (Sea World ‘17). In the wake…
Every girl wants to go to space, or does she just wanna read her horoscope? Grammy award-winning, world-renowned, best-selling music artist Katy Perry is a part of the crew on Jeff Bezos’…
