Columbia University is determined to seeing that all class day ceremonies and Commencement occur without a hitch. In this spirit, we have added your mom to all University Committees to ensure that…
The rumors are true: I’m graduating. Byeeeee!! But before I go, honor and duty compel me to use my lofty platform at the Columbia Federalist to pen odes to my campus missed…
Sorry, Middle America. I can’t do this anymore. I need to be where culture is, or whatever Lady Bird said in Lady Bird. That’s an A24 film, by the way. Do you…
Following the success of the Apple TV drama Severance, JJ’s has instituted the severance procedure for all its visitors. Once you go down those sticky, slippery stairs, you won’t remember anything your…
Have you been enjoying The Fed’s content this year? Love the creative direction? Well, I hate to break it to you, but The Fed is run by SECRET NEPO BABIES. See the…
Completely lost in LitHum? Fret not with this handy-dandy guide to your favorite Lit Hum books with terms from the internet’s horniest little book nerds. The Exaltation of Inanna: female rage, revenge…
Hot off the presses—Columbia’s resident bald baddie Dean Josef Sorett was spotted on College Walk yesterday in a scandalous getup: a black beanie and aviator sunglasses. Why would this chrome-domed diva cover…
Zwhoop! What was that? Oh, just the new ziplines across campus that Columbia introduced in effort to reduce collisions between students looking down at their phones! “Look, we’ve tried everything, but at…
Inspired by and directly stolen from Robert Frost Two Canada Gooses diverged in a dorm closet, And sorry I could not wear both And be doubly-coated, long I stood And looked at…
Have you ever walked by that silly little marble bench while you’re on the way to take up too much space at Milstein’s tiny tables? Ever noticed that the bench has cute…
