Upon announcing his withdrawal from the New York City mayoral race, disgraced Mayor Eric Adams quickly found himself meeting the wrath of an angry public. After stating that he would no longer…
Various reputable news sources have reported that Acting University President Claire Shipman is engaged to former soccer player Kati Jo Spisak. Yes, they are both women. Yes, we are also surprised. But,…
The long-awaited opening of the new Raising Cane’s location on 111th Street has generated tons of buzz due to their giveaway of free Cane’s for a year. However, a significant loophole in…
Earlier today, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce announced their engagement after two(ish?) years of dating. The couple may be one of the most heterosexual pairings of all time — a pop star…
On the morning of July 31, Barnard President Laura Rosenbury announced the layoffs of 77 non-instructional positions at the College, citing the need for “staff restructuring.” In a newly released statement, Rosenbury…
Moments after conceding the New York City Primary Election to underdog Zohran Mamdani, Andrew Cuomo announced his new role as Columbia University President. This leadership change marks an end to three years…
Given the recent announcement by the US Department of Education that Columbia University no longer meets accreditation standards, President Shafik Armstrong Shipman (or whoever we’re on now) has confirmed that the recently…
In a newly published research brief, Columbia University Republicans claim that Ronald Reagan’s trickle-down economics works, and their findings are certainly food for thought. The brief contains empirical research that analyzes meal…
“I think this is my fourth loop, maybe my fifth. You have to help me break out… I think things are getting worse. Every loop has an even more restricted campus, greater…
In response to leaked plans of a new encampment, Columbia Public Safety has heightened its security measures to prevent another occupation of South Lawn. In a memo to Public Safety officers obtained…
