In response to the illegal abduction of a student by the Department of Homeland Security on Monday morning, President Shipman released revised guidelines for Columbia Residential staff and Public Safety officers. Among…
Whoopdedangdo, commencement is back on campus. The student body rejoices. Shipman is back to shaking hands and kissing babies. Soon-to-be graduating seniors are tripping over themselves to thank the Columbia administration as…
May this year bring you happiness, prosperity, and a relentless desire to bring up shit from the past and dissect it until you go blue in the face. In this new year,…
It is a tale told many times before… you arrive at Butler early in the morning, sprightly and bright-eyed, and secure the best seat in the Lawrence A. Wien Reference Room. You…
On the afternoon of February 9, Claire Shipman announced via Instagram Live that the 2026 University Commencement would be moved to “the other side of the fucking moon” citing “cost restrictions” and…
This morning, Linus Infection BC ‘26, showed up to their 10:10 AM philosophy class with a single tissue shoved into the side pocket of their bag. Having sniffled a couple of times…
On Sunday, January 25th, faculty, students, and other members of the Columbia community were informed that Jennifer Mnookin, chancellor at a safety school, was selected as the next President of Columbia University.…
Happy Holidays! This is Santa, sending out a mass dispatch to all your little munchkins — naughty and nice — around the globe. We at the North Pole get a lot of…
Dear Professor [NAME], I hope this email finds you well. I, unfortunately, am not doing so great, especially after taking your exam today. However, I think I have some pretty good explanations,…
In a new report coming out from the Columbia Economics Department, Professor Monet Talks demonstrates that the Lerner revolving door on 115th Street is a site of the prisoner’s dilemma, a cornerstone…
