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Ben Greenspan

On Campus

Nation Asks: “How Am I Supposed to Explain the Columbia Wrestling GroupMe to my Children?”

by Ben Greenspan
November 11, 2016November 6, 2021

"Children have more opinions than we often give them credit for, especially when the topic is Columbia Wrestling."…

World

Elders of Zion Announce New Youngsters of Zion Sleepaway Camp in New Hampshire

by Ben Greenspan
October 31, 2016November 6, 2021

 “Let’s just say I have a feeling we’ll be getting an awful lot of press,” spokesman Moshe Feinberg said with a wink.…

World

Humans Only Able to Comprehend Modicum of Visible Gender Spectrum, Scientists Say

by Ben Greenspan
October 5, 2016November 6, 2021

"Don't bother shopping for corrective lenses - they're ableist."…

On Campus

Study: New World Order Not What It Used to Be

by Ben Greenspan
October 3, 2016November 6, 2021

Someone should really tell the protesters on Low Steps today.…

World

News In Photos: Donald Trump Jr. Nails the Skittles Metaphor

by Ben Greenspan
September 22, 2016November 6, 2021

Would you take a handful?…

World

Man Frantically Rearranges Table to Accommodate Arriving Food

by Ben Greenspan
September 18, 2016November 13, 2021

His jalapeño poppers had to be shoved precariously past the bread basket.…

On Campus

Bros Need A Trigger Warning For Dat A$$

by Ben Greenspan
September 13, 2016November 6, 2021

A convening of the bros on Columbia's campus has concluded that you can't just walk in here with dat a$$ and not throw them a trigger warning first.…

On Campus

Freshmen Zeroing In On Who In Class Will Be “That Guy”

by Ben Greenspan
August 30, 2016November 6, 2021

Will it be the kid who rides his Ripstik everywhere, or the one who keeps eating his food in a tree?…

World

Boris Johnson Begins Brexit Negotiations With Rambling List of Pubs He’s Hooked Up In

by Ben Greenspan
July 17, 2016November 6, 2021

He drives a hard bargain.…

World

New Gun Owners Required to Pinky Swear They Won’t Kill Anyone

by Ben Greenspan
June 14, 2016November 11, 2021

Congressional Republicans are fighting a last-minute amendment requiring gun owners to also "cross their hearts."…

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