Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents…
In the wake of a series of undeniably electric performances, the Columbia community is reeling from the fact that, against all odds, a capella music is a potent sexual weapon. The news…
In a thrilling development from John Jay Dining Hall, sources confirm that, in regards to Tuesday night’s fresh spinach artichoke flatbread, Columbia Dining went completely balls to the wall. Several students reached…
This year’s annual career fair showcased a number of exciting career opportunities for current Columbia students, but one position stood out from the rest: the “University President” stand established by the Columbia…
After the overwhelmingly positive response from students to their new cozy, homestyle Sunday Dinner, Fac Shack has announced that, beginning next week, they will also offer diners a bedtime story and kiss…
I woke up last Wednesday morning and could feel the excitement in the air; it was the first senior night of the school year, my first senior night as a senior, and…
Columbia has long strained itself to support our increasingly large student body. Upon walking into John Jay at 7PM, it is not rare to see students stacked upon each other’s laps due…
In a new press release, Columbia officials have announced they are extending campus gates. “As the fall semester approaches, we want to restate our commitment to ensuring safety for all members of…
Ever worried that your twentypage paper on feminist intuition or that obnoxious line at the mail room will prevent you from maintaining your lavish bush? Well, fear no longer! Millie the Dancing…
It’s public knowledge that Columbia over-admitted the class of 2029. And yeah, we love our freshmen, with their blissful innocence, not yet having lost that new college student twinkle in their eye.…
