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Reza Shayesteh

Reza is The Fed's social media editor and is a sophomore majoring in Political Science. In his free time, he enjoys brussels sprouts, mansplaining to unwilling friends and family at the New York City Ballet, playing the violin poorly, and pretending he's on a juice cleanse every time he's offered something and doesn't want to eat it.

Articles/Minouche Shafik

Freshman to Senior in Startling Prank: “I’m so Hungry I Could Eat Minouche Shafik.”

by Reza Shayesteh
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Little Johnny, CC ‘29, had only heard the legend of Baroness Nemat Shafik when he was accepted into Columbia. Shafik was just a faded myth, the big bad wolf of generations past.…

Articles/Business/On Campus/Opinion

Columbia Students Take a New Perspective on Potential Enrollment Increase: “More Huzz is More Huzz”

by Reza Shayesteh
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Columbia University announced in November that they are considering increasing the class sizes of Columbia College and SEAS for the next admission cycles. Though they received flack for the over enrollment of…

Articles/Politics/World

Trump Seen at Local YDSA Chapter Following Meeting with Zohran Mamdani

by Reza Shayesteh
November 22, 2025November 22, 2025

In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has been spotted at a Washington, D.C. chapter of Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA). This came as a surprise to most, as…

Articles/New York City/Politics

Cuomo Organizes January 6th-style Attack on Bushwick’s Basement

by Reza Shayesteh
November 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Watch out, New York! Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani has just been elected mayor in a landmark campaign for the Democratic Party. New Yorkers all around the city raise a glass tonight to…

Articles/Barnard/Breaking News

Barnard Expansion to Found First American Non-Binary College (NBC), NBarnard College

by Reza Shayesteh
October 27, 2025October 19, 2025

Barnard College has received upwards of 200 complaints from prospective students who hesitated to apply after viewing the requirement that applicants must “consistently live and identify as women.” She/theys around the country…

Articles/Health and Fitness/On Campus

“Lock My Ass Up, Then!”: HIPAA Strips License from CUEMS EMT After They Gossip About Having to Help Their Opp

by Reza Shayesteh
October 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Rachel Cameron, a Columbia sophomore and EMT for Columbia University Emergency Medical Services (CUEMS), got a call on Thursday night to report to East Campus, 10th floor, to resuscitate an intoxicated patient.…

Articles/Barnard/Food and Drink/Pop Culture

Performative Male Final Boss: Refuses to go to Hewitt, “That’s a Female Space.”

by Reza Shayesteh
September 29, 2025September 23, 2025

Matcha and Clairo are all the rage for the Doc Martens-wearing heterosexual men of Columbia University. Labubus on the belt, Laufey baby-tees on the chest, and bell hooks essays in the tote…

Articles/Opinion/Style

Fed-estimonial: Why I Invested My Last $400 Dollars Into a 12-Week Clown Course.

by Dani Winkler, Reza Shayesteh and Livy Molko
September 29, 2025September 23, 2025

Last week, I found myself at the end of my rope. The excitement of my newly-finalized PoliSci minor was dampened by my inability to answer a cold call from former University President…

Articles/On Campus/Pop Culture

Devout Christian Student Unsure Whether The Rapture Will Be Over by His 1:10 Class

by Reza Shayesteh
September 23, 2025September 23, 2025

Judah Smith, devout Christian student from Tennessee, heard about the coming of today’s Rapture from a man with a long beard and impeccable physique while scrolling on TikTok last week. Judah, a…

Articles/On Campus

Low GPA, Lower Jorts: Columbia Jort-Wearers Make Dean’s List Despite Low GPAs

by Reza Shayesteh
August 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Last evening, all Columbia College students who made the Dean’s List for the Spring 2025 Semester received notification. To make the Dean’s List, students must have a GPA of 3.6 or higher…

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