Barnard administration has recently unveiled a new program aiming to reduce the quantity and severity of fires in the Quad: an annual ‘controlled burn’ of select dormitories. Ms. Ashley Vargas, Barnard’s very…
Citing the campus-famous maxim “Barnard to bed, Columbia to wed,” Katrina Armstrong is commencing her interim presidency by announcing a five-year strategic plan aimed at lowering the rate of Barnard boyfriends. “These…
In a recent announcement via their diplomatic envoy, “Little France” (the tiny run-off nation located in the narrow corridor between the Lawns and Butler Library) has begun strict enforcement of their border.…
