Joshua Thorne | The Columbia Federalist

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Joshua Thorne

Articles/Business/Politics/Science and Technology

Shocking! Due to Funding Cuts, All Columbia Majors Equally Unemployable

by Joshua Thorne
March 7, 2025March 28, 2025

A new study from Reuters finds, in a shocking reversal of conventional major wisdom, all undergraduate students from Columbia University are now equally unemployable.  In the wake of over $400 million in…

Articles/Arts and Culture

“Five Stars for Five-Head”: Lily-Rose Depp’s Groundbreaking Forehead Representation

by Joshua Thorne
February 25, 2025February 25, 2025

Lily Rose-Depp’s starring role in Robert Egger’s remake of the classic film Nosferatu has been critically acclaimed, but for many Columbia students, she’s more than a scream queen. For many who have…

Articles/Politics/World

Columbia Purchases Greenland

by Joshua Thorne
February 14, 2025February 13, 2025

Interim President Armstrong revealed in a press release this morning that Columbia University has acquired the territory of Greenland in a move that has shocked many in the international community. Armstrong cited…

Articles/New York City/Politics

Mayor Eric Adams claims he could’ve beaten Donald Trump: “It takes a criminal to beat a criminal.”

by Joshua Thorne
December 9, 2024December 5, 2024

In the wake of Donald Trump’s landslide victory in the 2024 presidential election, many of us have leveraged our shock and outrage into speculation. There has been furious debate online about which…

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