Due to a lack of dormitory space for Columbia’s largest freshman class, Columbia facilities has hired an entire Amish community to build new student housing. Living up to their reputation for efficiency,…
Are you a senior prepping for graduation? Are you worried about that fugly blue blanket flattening out your assets? Do you want to ensure that your graduation photos show you to be…
Recently, the brothers of Phi Nu have been struggling to sell tickets to their formal (Gossip Girl themed for the 27th time in a row) due to their questionable reputation on campus.…
In a recent joint announcement, the Michelin Company and Columbia Dining Services shared that JJs will be awarded a Michelin star. The award, usually reserved for the world’s finest restaurants, generated some…
Regularly saying he was “at a very Chinese time” in his life, Engel O’Saxson, CC ’28, decided to enroll in Elementary Mandarin. Unfortunately, a familiarity with screenshotted RedNote memes and a love…
In a recent joint announcement, the Michelin Company and Columbia Dining Services shared that JJs will be awarded a Michelin star. The award, usually reserved for the world’s finest restaurants, generated some…
On the twelfth day of Christmas my situationship gave to me: Twelve IDs tapping, Eleven JJs nuggets, Ten football losses, Nine discussion posts, Eight Kingsmen singing, Seven frat parties, Six baddies fumbled,…
Okay, I know what you’re thinking: isn’t this a little much? But you guys don’t get it! I’m a SENIOR, alright. I needed my final semester to go perfectly, to lock in…
Sloppy ballet escapades notwithstanding, President Laura Rosenbury is fearlessly taking on another Barnard class: First Year Writing. Spotted by several eagle-eyed students, she was noticed sneaking into Finding Your Voice: Opinion Writing…
In a new press release, Columbia officials have announced they are extending campus gates. “As the fall semester approaches, we want to restate our commitment to ensuring safety for all members of…
