Andre Adams | The Columbia Federalist

Columbia's Only Newspaper That Wears a Bikini with a Full Bush

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Andre Adams

On Campus

Soulless Administrative Bureaucrat Approves Additional $5000 for Club’s Budget

by Andre Adams
November 29, 2016November 6, 2021

To deliver the application form, we had to climb into this dark pit and sacrifice one of our members on financial aid.…

On Campus

News Brief: In Stunning Upset, Rape Culture, Toxic Masculinity, Institutional Racism Have Survived Spec’s Op-Eds

by Andre Adams
November 9, 2016November 6, 2021

We shouldn't have been so confident that working class America was listening to Spec.…

On Campus

News Brief: Professor Has Nerve to Plow On Ahead With 8:40

by Andre Adams
November 9, 2016November 6, 2021

Rude.…

World

“Wait, That’s It?” Says Nation as Short Manhunt Fails to Cure Case of the Mondays

by Andre Adams
September 19, 2016November 6, 2021

"They should have at least stretched the thing out until primetime."…

On Campus

After Grueling Two Months, Intern Ready for Management Position

by Andre Adams
August 2, 2016November 6, 2021

"My real skills lie in delegation."…

World

Breaking: Trump Names Shapeless Pile of White Flesh with Penis as VP

by Andre Adams
July 15, 2016November 6, 2021

"You can't honestly expected me to distinguish Chris Christie from any other blob of pink penisey meat."…

On Campus

Summer Offers Exciting New Forms of Failure for Subpar Students

by Andre Adams
June 24, 2016November 6, 2021

"Finally, I have the chance to tank a discussion that isn't part of CC with my banal, rambling comments."…

World

With Whopping 5% of U.S. Population’s Vote, Clinton Becomes Democratic Nominee

by Andre Adams
June 15, 2016November 11, 2021

Incredible: Clinton earned the votes of a group as large as the season finale audience of The Walking Dead.…

On Campus

CCSC Debate Provides Three Students With Valuable Voting Insight

by Andre Adams
April 4, 2016November 13, 2021

It lacked both penis size comparisons and booger ingestion.…

On Campus

Budget Dating at Columbia

by Andre Adams
March 10, 2016November 13, 2021

Take your loved one to the threshold of a nice restaurant, then feign diarrhea.…

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