World Hunger Resolved After Discovering Off Peak Hours

Columbia Dining is now seeking a Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to combat world hunger. This news comes on the heels of Columbia Dining’s victory of being rated the best college dining in America by the influential college food magazine, The Dish in 2018. The geniuses behind potato water and THE NUT ZONE have put their heads together to solve one of humanity’s most pressing problems. 

In total, around 690 million people battle hunger around the world, yet that number has recently been cut in half after a mass campaign by Columbia University Dining. 

After dealing with the backlash of long lines during “the crunch” on their own campus, Columbia Dining has come forward with a statement: 

“For those complaining about being hungry while in a thirty-five minute line for an omelette at Ferris Booth Commons, I would suggest dining at off-peak hours. Try to not come on the hour, maybe try at the half hour instead.” 

This suggestion was spread around the world in addition to @columbiadining’s “The Crunch” Instagram story highlight, and has made a significant change in numerous lives. 

It is still unknown how the new “Current Seating Capacity” feature on the University’s dining website will inspire those battling hunger.