Fighting Elitism “Top Priority” says Candidate for Most Elite Position at Elitist Institution

Artwork by Kat Chen

“We really want to fight back against Columbia’s elitist culture,” agreed many of the candidates in this year’s CCSC elections. “We know that ensuring an equal playing field is really important to all of the common folk here,” another candidate added. “They like it when they feel seen, y’know?” 

When asked about their other priorities, those running came to a strong consensus: 

“Grad school,” they replied. “Definitely grad school. Like… Kennedy or something. Anyone want to go to Fumo after this?”