New Survey Finds Every Columbia College Student Is “Total Expert” on BDS


Last week, Columbia College Student Council voted to send a BDS referendum to the CC student body. Some whiney pro-Israel groups made a claim that most CC students don’t know enough about BDS or Middle East politics to have a nuanced opinion on the issue, but our survey says otherwise. 

In an interview with the Federalist, Christina Xu, CC ‘20, a biochem major told us, “I have done research with Blood Depressing Substance-1 last summer at Mount Sinai. So I am super hyped for the BDS vote next semester”. Her friend, Michael Viz CC’21 added, “BDS is, like, super cool. My ex-girlfriend from high school is studying Bachelor of Dental Surgery in the UK — she says it’s dope. I miss her.”

Sara Bergmann CC ‘23, an international student from the UK, who also happens to be a member of the Columbia Divest for Climate Justice, told us, “I am an active member of the British Dragonfly Society. I was just in Butler for a hunger strike so that Columbia invests in the study and conservation of dragonflies and save the fucking planet, so, of course, I definitely support BDS”. 

Jay Roberts, an athlete on the Men’s football team, said he loves BDS with all his heart and soul. An Alabama native, he reminisces his childhood days when he and his whole family would go to the Bryant-Denny Stadium to see the Alabama Crimsons. “So many sweet memories”, Roberts said with a catch in his voice. I’m all for BDS instead of Baker next semester, hands down, no discussion.

Rajesh Poudel, another international student from Nepal, who identifies as transsexual and is active in several LGBTQ groups on campus, told us she endorses BDS promptly. “I am a student ambassador of the Blue Diamond Society for three years now. They are doing amazing work for the Nepali LGBTQ community. I’d love to see them win at Columbia”. 

Another group of students’ eyes glowed up as they were asked about BDS. “BDS? Bund Demokratischer Sozialisten? As in League of Democratic Socialists? Bernie? Bernie is coming next semester?? Fuck yeah!” However, wanna-be hip-hop artist Justin Pompeo, CC ‘23, was a bit disappointed to hear this, as he thought his favorite Brazilian hip hop band Bonde Da Stronda was coming for Bacchanal. 

Our survey concluded that every CC student can relate to BDS in their own unique ways, showing a true sign of intersectional activism, a cherished Columbia tradition.