Columbia’s Only Newspaper That Mates For Life

  • Latest Issue
  • Join The Cult
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • On Campus
    • Arts and Culture
    • Food and Drink
    • Health and Fitness
    • Politics
    • Opinion
    • Fedvestigations
    • Advice
  • Cartoons
  • Support The Fed
  • Games
    • Crosswords

Sasha Maroulis

Articles/World

Passover and April Fools Collide; Wicked Son Pranks the Fuck out of Dumbass Simple Son

by Sasha Maroulis
April 1, 2026March 31, 2026

With Passover falling on April 1st this year, wicked sons across the country are taking the opportunity to prank the absolute shit out of their dumbfuck simple son brothers during their Passover…

Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus

Fac Shack Chef Comes Clean: “I’ve Never Eaten Indian Food, Only Chicken”

by Sasha Maroulis
April 1, 2026March 31, 2026

In a recent Spectador exclusive interview, we spoke with Fac Shack Head Chef Marcus Farkus to better understand his inspiration for the popular dining spot’s unique meals. “Well honestly, they told me…

Articles/On Campus/Sports

Controversial Incentives for Low Sporting Event Turnout: Columbia to Break Athletes’ Legs

by Sasha Maroulis
March 1, 2026

Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing at Columbia! At the same time, the University has observed a significant decline in sporting event attendance, despite promoting games…

Articles/On Campus/Sports

Controversial Incentives for Low Sporting Event Turnout: Columbia to Break Athletes’ Legs

by Sasha Maroulis
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing at Columbia! At the same time, the University has observed a significant decline in sporting event attendance, despite promoting games…

Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus/Opinion

Fed/CounterFed: A Cycle of Grief: Quesadilla Theft at JJ’s

by Winston Vuong and Sasha Maroulis
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

A Cycle of Grief: Quesadilla Theft at JJ’sWinston Vuong HEARTWRENCHING — As Columbia students returned to campus following the new year, frequenters of the premier late-night dining hall, JJ’s Place, reported a…

Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus

Student Says “Fuck It”; Puts JJ’s Dino Nuggets on Their Burger

by Sasha Maroulis
September 29, 2025September 24, 2025

Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents…

Articles/On Campus

Pool Table First Thing in Furnald to Feel a Woman’s Touch

by Sasha Maroulis
September 29, 2025September 24, 2025

The Fed has received confirmation from various sources that a woman was seen playing pool at the table relocated to Furnald, making this the first time that anything in that building has…

Articles/On Campus/Politics

Columbia to Remove Alma Mater, Deemed ‘DEI Hire’

by Sasha Maroulis
March 18, 2025March 18, 2025

Amid nationwide cuts to DEI programs, including Columbia’s stealthy removal of DEI language from various college websites, the University has announced that they will be removing the iconic statue of Alma Mater…

Articles/Arts and Culture/On Campus

Grandma Got Run Over by Chef Mike

by Sasha Maroulis
December 23, 2024December 23, 2024

Grandma got run over by Chef Mike Walking home from Uris Christmas Eve You can say he never meant to do it But as for all the students we believe She’d been…

Articles/On Campus

Columbia Admin Restricts Access To Entrances; Locks Everyone Out by Mistake

by Sasha Maroulis
October 28, 2024October 22, 2024

Oopsies! After the University’s recent decision to return to restricted gate access, the Columbia administration suffered a calamity they did not anticipate: accidentally locking themselves out. That’s right. For the last four…

1 2 Next

© 2025 – all rights reserved.

  • Home
  • About
  • Masthead

  • Latest Issue
  • Join The Cult
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • On Campus
    • Arts and Culture
    • Food and Drink
    • Health and Fitness
    • Politics
    • Opinion
    • Fedvestigations
    • Advice
  • Cartoons
  • Support The Fed
  • Games
    • Crosswords