In a shocking divulgence this Saturday, a man wearing exclusively clothing branded with the Columbia wrestling logo revealed that he indeed wrestles for Columbia. “I’m actually on the wrestling team,” said freshman…
On behalf of the Fed, I spent Thursday night at the tree-lighting ceremony, in search of something funny that might happen (i.e. fart, etc). I found myself standing next to a shivering…
After rows of College Walk trees were torn down last semester, the fate of Columbia’s annual tree-lighting ceremony has been uncertain. That is, until Interim President Shipman announced a new tradition to…
It came to me in the middle of the night. I heard a rattling outside the window of my penthouse suite at the top of Low Library. I struck upright in bed…
Yes! Homecoming season is here! Suit up, boys, let’s get this dub! Who’re we playing? Penn? Perfect! They suck! They’re good? Who cares! It’s our responsibility to support our athletics, specifically on…
According to a tip from Public Safety employee Al Lydsikirity, the University’s campus-wide mask ban sure stirs up some trouble around Halloween. Al explained to The Fed that the policy was a…
This year’s annual career fair showcased a number of exciting career opportunities for current Columbia students, but one position stood out from the rest: the “University President” stand established by the Columbia…
In a thrilling development from John Jay Dining Hall, sources confirm that, in regards to Tuesday night’s fresh spinach artichoke flatbread, Columbia Dining went completely balls to the wall. Several students reached…
In the wake of a series of undeniably electric performances, the Columbia community is reeling from the fact that, against all odds, a capella music is a potent sexual weapon. The news…
A new study investigating the long-term consequences of heavy alcohol use apparently thinks it has the right to tell you how to live your life. The study, published in the Columbia Medical…
