As readers may recall from a previous issue of The Federalist, Little Gregory—a tiny man trapped inside The Fed’s printing press—has come forward to talk about his experience as a labor rights whistleblower. Our intrepid reporters were able to track down Little Gregory for this exclusive interview, though it was hard as he’s only 1’5”.
Spectador: So, Little Gregory, I’ll just start with the big question: why’d you decide to come forward?
Little Gregory: Big question for a little man (laughs). I guess I decided to speak out because even though I have teensy itsy-bitsy hands, I realized that a powerful story can transcend size and shape. I really wanted to make sure that nobody else would have to go through what I did.
S: Wow, powerful stuff. If we can get personal for a moment, how did it feel to be trapped in a printing press, forced to type out a paper?
LG: My working conditions were inhumane. I know some people thought I was just joking around, but it was a truly horrifying experience, and one I wouldn’t wish on anybody, not even my worst enemies.
S: Do you have those? Enemies, I mean. You’ve been pretty widely celebrated for your message to workers and budding role as a labor rights activist.
LG: Well, everyone has enemies. Some people just don’t want this tiny voice exposing the levers of power (laughs nervously).
S: Thank you for your time and being willing to speak with us. Anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
LG: Be on the lookout for my upcoming memoir “Little Baby Fork Hands: My Journey of Empowerment and How to Reclaim Your Own Story” (typed under certified union and cruelty-free conditions).
