You’ve heard all the rumors about how freshman orientation friend groups never stay together, but now that NSOP is over and you’ve created lifelong bonds with so many people over 2:00 AM JJs burgers, we at the Fed are here to help guarantee that you’ll stay best friends for all four years of college!
- NEVER MEET ANYONE NEW. Why would you need to look outside your NSOP buddies for new pals? Over the course of two weeks, you’ve already met more people who play Dungeons & Dragons than you thought could possibly exist! Don’t get greedy.
- CHANGE YOUR MAJOR TO ENSURE YOU ALL HAVE THE SAME CLASSES. Sure, you didn’t plan on becoming an applied math major, but taking Partial Differential Equations is a small price to pay to stick with your platonic soulmates!
- NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT NSOP INSIDE JOKES. Remember that time you tried to shotgun a White Claw in the Carman floor lounge? That’s a core memory that binds you to the other freshmen for life. You’re gonna be telling your kids about that one.
