O great John Jay pasta bar Your fixins’ make me weep, Creamy cheese sauce Marinara too My favorite post-class treat! Sequestered in my corner chair Back hunched over my plate. When I…
In my first semester at Columbia University, one aspect of college life that struck me by surprise was just how expensive New York City really is. I ran through virtually all of…
I just love wearing Columbia merch. The moment that Champion-branded fabric touches my skin? Immediate chills. My chest swells with pride. My chin lifts. My mouth tugs back into a smug smile.…
As the only undergraduate freshman in my Chinese class, it’s not unusual to feel young. But lately I’ve been feeling younger than usual. Everyone has that one GS classmate who looks a…
The silent workers tremble A thunderous burst of sound I coughed in Butler…
Our readers wrote in to ask questions of The Fed’s resident boy supergenius: Caleb Brooks, age 4, IQ of 280, from Lincoln, Nebraska. Q: Dear Caleb the boy supergenius, Sometimes when I’m…
Following a recent NYC Health food inspection of Ferris Booth Commons, the directorship of Columbia Dining was last seen pouring through their Health Standards syllabus to see if their end-of-year grade would…
In response to the recent Timothée Chalamet look-alike contest in New York in October, a Harry Styles look-alike contest emerged in London, a Paul Mescal look-alike contest in Dublin, and a Jeremy…
Last week, The Fed announced that they would be re-registering as a corporation within the state of Pennsylvania, effectively giving their 40+ members the right to register and vote (albeit belatedly) in…
As a result of the Columbia Lions’ recent epic losses, Roar–ee stated in a recent interview with The Federalist that, after some self-reflection, he has decided it will be best for his…
