Following the release of the latest issue of The Blue and White, the publication was happy to announce that it had reached a record number of readers: one hundred unlucky students cracked open a copy of the magazine!
In a survey conducted by The Fed, the one hundred readers rated the experience an average of 2.45/5. One reader, Al Waishigh CC ‘27, confused the issue for a shitty Dairy Queen ice cream cake and commented that it tasted like “paper and no post-grad prospects.”
After looking into the spike in readership, however, we discovered that it occurred on April 2nd, the same day that an article titled “Dear Fed, Are We Still Friends?” was posted on their Instagram. One student, notably a bad bitch, explained to The Fed, “Oh yeah, I did read the issue, but only to see what the thing about The Fed was. I love that paper! What a nothingburger article though.”
To The Blue and White, we say a hearty congratulations on this achievement! And you’re welcome!
