As tension builds in the New York City mayoral race, candidates Cuomo and Mamdami are giving their final campaign pushes. Mamdami has opted for a large grassroots movement, turning to social media and garnering support as volunteers knock on doors in every neighborhood of New York City. Cuomo, on the other hand, has decided to take a different approach. Falling behind in recent polling, Cuomo has decided to get a little creative with his campaign strategy.
A representative from Cuomo’s campaign explains, “we really want to focus on those communities that nobody really knows about, thinks about, or cares about.” This is why Cuomo decided to pay a visit to a small Amish community living in the outskirts of the city, on a little outgrowth of land underneath the Queenborough Bridge. After Amish man Jeremiah Smith showed Cuomo around his suffering carrot farm, Cuomo stepped backwards towards his assistant to grab his hand sanitizer from his man-purse, when he suddenly tripped over an unmarked well. Cuomo hit the bottom of the well with a splash and a thud, letting out a piercing scream as he fell.
Hearing a strange squeal coming from the farmland, the amish women in the house grabbed their bonnets and stumbled outside, mistaking Cuomo’s shriek for the mating call of their female goat. However, once they saw commotion around the well, one woman sighed with disappointment, “guess we better go get the well rescue kit.”
Cuomo reportedly preserved a positive attitude throughout the entire rescue, allegedly exclaiming, “every vote counts!” after finding out all fourteen of the women rescuing him were Smith’s wives.
