Monday, January 26th, marks a devastating day in history. Columbia’s most underground campus publication, The Blue and White, has published its last issue. Forever. In a not-so-surprising turn of events, The Blue and White has declared bankruptcy. Frankly, they lasted much longer than we expected. After years of unread issues and half-solved puzzles, the publication was toast. When asked for a statement on the matter, Julia Ryan BC ’28, generally “in-the know” student, responded “who’s that?” reflecting the sentiments of the entire student body.
In a last ditch effort to increase their readership, The Blue and White hired newsboys to deliver their papers across the dorms. Unfortunately, this move led to widespread complaints and threats of legal action once the newsboys were found breaking and entering and reenacting scenes from the 1992 film, Newsies, within the dorms. Furthermore, the newsboy caps caused a high school tour to engage in unique and destructive communal vomiting due to their extremely unflattering nature.The Blue and White offered a comment to The Federalist, desperately searching for one last opportunity to have their name in print. “We blame the crossword team. After last week’s catastrophe with 51-down, it’s no surprise the people have given up on us. I couldn’t blame them.” We at The Fed commiserate with the former magazine and offer positions to any out-of-work editors. We could always use more copy editors.
