Many Columbia graduates find themselves pursuing professions in the startup space after graduation. One intrepid student “stumbled upon” what he described as a “mind-blowing” opportunity when he was offered a position at NoLegs Inc. He will work as an engineer for the company, which specializes in landmine production and design. “User experience is so important to the work we do,” he explained, as he hopes to revolutionize the way average people interact with antipersonnel explosives. He’s excited to experience their work culture: “They put just enough pressure on employees to really facilitate a creative explosion.”
He has already reached out to local news outlets in the hopes of moonlighting as an inspirational speaker, citing his journey from “broke student” to “champion of world peace, limb by limb.” When asked about the impact his educational background has had on his career, his response was heartwarming: “I’m very grateful to have had the opportunity to read the SparkNotes of Homer’s Odyssey and watch recordings of most of my Java lectures on 1.5 speed. Columbia’s commitment to pounding students with mind-numbing tasks while discouraging any interrogation of their purpose has prepared me well for this next professional stage. As ChatGPT said Descartes said, ‘I think therefore I am.’ Well I’m thinking I’m ready to help blow up more kids in the third world.”
A spokesperson for Columbia Career Services praised his achievement, noting that “it’s inspiring to see our graduates shaping the world, one leg at a time.”
