Due to the shocking debt accumulated last fall, and the numerous controversies surrounding the institution, Barnard College announced that they have made the difficult decision to officially shut down all operations by Friday.
After severe backlash about student displacement, in another unexpected turn of events, President Rosenbury announced this morning that the College will be rented out and temporarily transformed into a Spirit Halloween, which will provide short-term housing and job accommodations for students.
A copy of the Spirit Halloween floor plans was provided to The Fed:
- The Milstein Center will serve as a 16-floor costume and accessories section.
- The Diana Center will sell Halloween-themed collectibles, plushies, and Funko Pops.
- Barnard Hall will display animatronics for sale.
- Milbank Hall will sell various Halloween decorations.
- Hewitt Dining Hall will serve as a storage room.
When asked about how students should adjust to the shocking change, a Barnard spokesperson stated, “A lot of Barnard Baddies have good fashion taste for Halloween, especially for trick-or-treating and parties, so they will be naturals as Spirit salespeople. Plus, four weeks is adequate time for students to figure out what they want to do now that their college doesn’t exist anymore. We’re being perfectly reasonable.”
The Fed reached out to Barnard Media Relations for another statement regarding the campus’s fate after the Spirit Halloween closes, but received no reply. Today at 3:37 AM, however, a student reported seeing Barnard administrators and trustees wearing shiesties and hauling large sacks of cash while climbing out of a Milbank Hall window.
