As AI continues to cause dramatic shifts in the computer science field, with mass corporate layoffs and fewer job openings than ever, many graduating CS majors are feeling real anxiety about what their future holds. Many report feeling like they’ve wasted their time at Columbia, as many of the things they’ve learned from their classes are now completely obsolete.
In a frantic move to reassure students, the Computer Science department has announced a talent show for its majors. As was stated in the event announcement, the faculty hope that this event “will show our majors that despite what they may fear, each of our students still brings their own unique talents and abilities to the world, and we should celebrate these.”
We interviewed one student, Talan Tedbelch, for her opinion on the upcoming event. “You know, I was pretty devastated when I lost my post-grad return offer after Meta cut my entire department,” Talan told our reporter. “But now, this event has helped me start to reconnect with my true inner passion: burping the National Anthem. Thanks to the CS department, I’ve started to feel like I finally have some worth again that can help me navigate the job market after graduation.”
Other students expressed similar sentiments, and the department has reported a flurry of sign-ups for the show. “We’ve got nearly 100% participation from our seniors,” one professor told us. “We’ve got students who are going to be breakdancing, doing armpit farts, blowing big bubblegum bubbles, reciting the alphabet backwards, and doing ventriloquism.” The professor continued to reiterate his enthusiasm for the show and confidence CS majors all have bright futures, even after Robert Wilkins’ rabbit ran away during the middle of his vanishing trick at the dress rehearsal.
