Following up on their announcement that the Class of 2029 is the largest enrolled class in Columbia history, Columbia Admissions released a new report today revealing the university is actually still in the process of admitting more freshmen to the already record-breaking grade. In fact, since the first day of classes, 146 new students have reportedly been added to the freshman class.
Our reporters obtained an exclusive interview with one such student, Harris Mills: “I was walking outside Columbia’s campus, and I mumbled aloud to myself, ‘This seems like a nice place to go to school.’ Before I knew it, an admissions officer grabbed my arm, whisked me through the gates, accepted me into the school, kicked a junior out of Wien, put some GS students out onto the street, and wrote my parents an invoice for the full tuition.”
We reached out to an admissions officer for their insight into why Columbia has continued to admit even more freshmen, to which they replied with this emoji: 🤑.
Although the Class of 2029 has already broken records, Columbia doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. Leaked admissions files have revealed that the university is hoping for exponential growth: by November the Class of 2029 will be larger than last year’s entire student population, and by March it will exceed the current population of Manhattan. The reasoning for this growth is unclear, but many speculate administrators are hoping this will help them finally outnumber “those pesky little average New Yorkers who always get in our way.”
