Every girl wants to go to space, or does she just wanna read her horoscope? Grammy award-winning, world-renowned, best-selling music artist Katy Perry is a part of the crew on Jeff Bezos’ company Blue Origin’s spacecraft. After Perry’s release of her new album, “143,” that reportedly nobody has ever listened to, her team decided they needed to get her name back into the media if she was going to continue her lifestyle. While Perry tried other ways to subsidize income, including but not limited to starting a Crumbl cookie review account, selling Girl Scout cookies, and drop shipping, she seemed to have little talent in any of these fields.
When an email rolled into Perry’s inbox with the subject line “$$$Astronomy Opportunity$$$,” from jeffbaez0s@gmail.com she assumed it was her weekly bill from her personal clairvoyant, Jeffica Baezo. After a hard week for a Scorpio placement, she forwarded it to her assistant saying, “Take care of this for me, whatever it takes.”
Perry’s assistant had her sign the Blue Origin contract while she was doing a treatment that required cucumbers over her eyes. Despite not receiving her birth chart reading for the week, and her legally binding contract to Jeff Bezos, Perry is putting on a brave face. Before takeoff, Perry told reporters that seeing outer space was her “Teenage Dream,” that she’s coming at the celestial bodies “like a firework,” and that aliens will “hear me roar.”
