Owen Long | The Columbia Federalist

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Owen Long

On Campus

Gulati Disentangles Ballsack on the Go Using Invisible Hand

by Owen Long
October 6, 2018August 17, 2021

AMSTERDAM — Principles of Economics professor Sunil Gulati, 59, was seen this morning utilizing the invisible hand of the free market to disentangle his uncomfortably-positioned testicles. After bystander Andrew Colon ’20 witnessed…

On Campus

Roommates With Same Schedule Left With No Choice But To Jerk Each Other Off

by Owen Long
October 11, 2017November 5, 2021

"We looked into each other’s eyes, and then we both knew, just like that. It felt so natural. It was a really special moment.”…

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