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Fakemink Says He Hasn’t Heard Of Columbia Either

Graphic by Reza Shayesteh

MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS — British rapper Fakemink, announced yesterday as the headliner for Columbia University’s annual Bacchanal concert, told reporters Wednesday that he was “not familiar” with the institution, adding that he “figured it was a night club or something.”

“Is that in New York? Sick,” said the 21-year-old Essex native, who has released more than 50 songs in the past calendar year. “Sort it for me. I’ll be there,” he reportedly told his manager. 

The announcement makes Fakemink the latest in a storied lineage of Bacchanal headliners, joining names like Kanye West, Vampire Weekend, and last year’s Rick Ross, whom students may also not have heard of but at least had the courtesy to pretend otherwise.