In the most recent issue of the Sundial, the paper’s editorial staff took the time to reaffirm their journalistic commitment to licking that boot. Editor-in-Chief Trey Donmey published the following statement:
“As student journalism has gradually decayed in our country, and dissenting opinions have been increasingly silenced on college campuses, we at the Sundial remain committed to diligently and unyieldingly licking the boot of those in power.
As Columbia’s leading bastion of free-thinking, our publication has a unique responsibility to slurp up boot like our nation depends on it. It’s our job to make sure that the university remains committed to exercising its God-given liberties—especially the one about stifling speech it doesn’t agree with.
The university’s right to constitutionally windmill dunk on its students is an issue that people just aren’t talking about enough. Plenty of folks speak up when authorities are committing injustice. They love to post on their Instagram stories, their TikToks, their X profiles, whining about systemic failures and the plight of the common man. To use their own words, it’s only fair that we, in turn, ‘hold space’ for people in power.
In defense of our institutions, we’ve been devoting ourselves to licking boot like never before—heel to toe, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. All natural shoeshine over here. We’ve got more foot in our mouth than a white guy in CC trying to talk about the Quran.
People may say, ‘Are you really gonna eat that whole boot, shoestrings and all?’ I’ll tell them the same thing I say whenever I find myself in EC on a Saturday night: ‘I don’t care if it’s laced, I still want it.’
It’s our job as student journalists to not only bite that boot, but to lick those kicks and chew those shoes as well. And we’re not just lapping up admin-boot, cop-boot, and Allied-security-sneaker—we’re chewing on those solid gold Trump slip-ons with the same gusto. And by the time we’re finished, we’ll have more metal in our mouths than T-Pain. Speaking of T-Pain, the boots might not have the fur, but we still hit the floor for ‘em over at the Sundial. That’s a reference to the song ‘Low.’
Anyway, just wanted to make sure that we’re all clear on our stance here: prostrate, tongue out. Got so much heel in our face it’s like we’re fighting for Cobra Kai. Doc Marten prescribed us some oral medication, you feel me? We’re the official taste testers for our great nation’s many boots, and we take our role very seriously. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
